Dr. James Tobin Ph.D. - Psychologist
Dr. James Tobin’s Psychology Insights & Articles
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Dr. Tobin regularly publishes blog articles and posts information and writings by other authors on various issues including child development and adolescence, parenting, romantic love, men and masculinity, the psychotherapy process, the training and supervision of psychologists, sexual compulsivity and addiction, and organizational culture and change. If there is a topic you would like Dr. Tobin to feature, please email him directly at jt@jamestobinphd.com.
The Relationship Beneath the Conflict
Why Recurring Problems May Signal That a Couple Has Reached a Developmental Turning Point James Tobin, Ph.D. Couples often enter therapy because they have reached a conflict, distance, or impasse they can no longer resolve. The Inflection Model considers another...
The Patient Between Therapists
What Clinicians Can Learn When They See the Same Patient Differently James Tobin, Ph.D. When clinicians—such as individual and couples therapists, psychiatrists, or other treating professionals—consult with one another about a shared patient, they may discover that...
Difficult Conversations in Relationships: Why Couples Avoid Them
Difficult Conversations in Relationships: Why Couples Avoid Them KEY POINTS Couples often struggle not because they have stopped communicating, but because certain important experiences have become increasingly difficult to bring into the relationship. Every long-term...
Where Meaning Waits –
Psychotherapy and the Organization of Experience James Tobin, Ph.D. Nothing New Happened Several years ago, a patient whom I will call David came to therapy following the unexpected death of his father. He wanted to understand why his grief felt strangely muted. He...
When the Familiar Becomes Strange
Psychotherapy and the Recovery of Perception James Tobin, Ph.D. Introduction Years ago, while watching Adrian Lyne's 1986 film 9½ Weeks—a controversial and often provocative exploration of erotic desire and power—I was struck by a brief conversation that seemed almost...
Observing the Mind: On Vipassana (Insight) Meditation
Most people have had the experience of getting caught in their own mind. A thought shows up—small, almost forgettable—and then it begins pulling on everything else. One idea leads to another, then another. The body tightens, emotion builds, attention narrows. What...
Why Loving Couples Keep Having the Same Fight
How Intimate Relationships Quietly Re-awaken the Emotional Patterns We Thought We Had Outgrown James Tobin, Ph.D. Part I The Puzzle of Repetition. Why loving couples continue to re-create conflicts they recognize, predict, and sincerely wish would end. One of the more...
The Unfinished Self: How Longing Sparks Emotional Growth
Most couples wait years before seeking help—often until resentment, emotional distance, and recurring conflict have become deeply entrenched. The research is clear: couples therapy can work remarkably well, but success depends less on finding a “magic technique” and...
The Psychology of “Otherness” in Relationships
Why Couples Stop Seeing Each Other—and How Curiosity Restores Intimacy James Tobin, Ph.D. Most couples do not lose love first. They lose curiosity. Long-term intimacy depends on the ability to keep discovering the person you think you already know. KEY POINTS Many...