Self-Sabotage | Under-achievement

Patterns of self-destruction cover a wide range of profiles. Procrastination, sluggish and inconsistent efforts academically or professionally, poor decision-making, risky behavior, and lapses of judgment leading to problematic consequences in relationships or career pursuits are all potential indicators of the unconscious motive to self-sabotage.

Patients seeking the aid of psychotherapy for these types of problems often do so after years or even decades of their life circumstances gradually orienting toward disappointment, lost opportunity, or significant failures.

For some, the self-sabotaging behavior may be a direct, conscious act, while for others it remains a largely unconscious phenomenon that has become habitual.

Interestingly, as a group these patients often approach their self-destructive tendencies ambivalently. Some part of the patient would like to shed this pattern once and for all, and finally advance the quality of their life. However, another part of the patient would prefer the status quo to remain unaltered, as the ongoing sub-optimal level of success and fulfillment seems to solve another deeper, even more complex issue. Apprehension around getting what one wants, for example, or surpassing one’s own family members and/or cultural legacy, may be at the center of a personality style established long ago that under-performs or self-destructs for very important yet unknown reasons.

Some patients’ attitudes and behaviors may even meet the criteria for “fear of success,” a psychological construct that involves deep-seeded unconscious conflicts not about success per se, but about the social, relational and familial consequences of success.

As psychotherapy unfolds for patients with these types of difficulties, what may emerge is a chronic anxiety linked with being socially evaluated or scrutinized. Potential memories of being criticized, scorned or unfavorably compared to others are important to explore in therapy. The origins of self-destructive tendencies may involve the need for a psychic defense that ensures any further reproach. To establish control in situations of scrutiny, a psychological strategy employed and persisting may be performing far below one’s potential or failing directly through passivity or withdrawal.

Serving as a forum for the exploration and potential disarming of these self-sabotaging psychological defenses, psychotherapy often galvanizes more self-affirming and proactive tendencies and supports a predisposition more closely aligned with one’s potential.

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15615 Alton Parkway
Suite 450
Irvine, CA 92618

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Monday: 8am - 8pm
Tuesday: 8am - 8pm
Wednesday: 8am - 8pm
Thursday: 8am - 8pm
Friday: 8am - 8pm
Saturday: Closed
Sunday: Closed