Adolescence/Young Adulthood, Parent Guidance, and Family Therapy

I view the unique problems of adolescence and young adulthood as stemming largely from the uncertainty and ambivalence experienced by the child as he or she moves toward independence and psychological autonomy.

The challenges of this developmental period are further exacerbated by a cultural landscape in which the forces of technology, social media, the availability of mood-altering substances, and narcissistic trends hinder or obstruct pathways toward emotional maturity.

Individual therapy for adolescents and young adults provides a venue for the child to explore his or her emerging identity, conflicts, and struggles. My treatment approach focuses on enhancing the child’s capacity to experience feeling states safely and find new ways to regulate, and think about, emotions. Also, how the child attempts to negotiate increasingly complex relationships and his or her self-esteem as young adulthood unfolds are central foci of psychotherapy.

The most common concerns of adolescents and young adults who enter my practice are described below:

Launching: As young adulthood emerges, many children are ambivalent about growing up and moving toward independence. While on the surface it may appear that they want to be free of parental oversight, many forms of acting out and attention-seeking behavior are actually unconsciously motivated by the child’s need to continue to feel, and be reassured by, the parents’ presence. Overcoming the ambivalence of wanting to grow up but also stay “young” and protected, and advancing the child’s self-esteem in the face of developmental challenges and the insecurity that accompanies them, are central goals of treatment.

Stress Management: The demands on children today are considerable and, for some, overwhelming. There is tremendous pressure to succeed, academically, socially, and in an array of other areas, leaving the child vulnerable to self-esteem doubts, self-sabotage, anxiety/depression, obsessive-compulsive behavior, substance abuse, and irritability/frustration. Developing skills in lifestyle management, prioritization, and self-esteem management are important areas of functioning both in emerging adulthood and across the lifespan that are addressed in therapy.

Depression: Research indicates that adolescence and young adulthood are developmental periods in which the incidence of depression is alarmingly high. Burdened by a range of challenges re: one’s identity, self-esteem, emerging romantic and sexual life, academic and professional aspirations, peer relationships, and changing family roles and relationships may result in significant feelings of sadness, social withdrawal, and helplessness/hopelessness. These life stressors may also interact with a genetic predisposition for psychiatric problems such as depression and other mood disorders including anxiety. Individual psychotherapy, singularly or in combination with psychiatric intervention, provides an opportunity for the child to explore and regulate intense emotional states, develop coping skills, and come to terms with one’s emerging identity and personal strengths and limitations.

Peer Relationships: Adolescence is a developmental phase in which the child begins to transfer attention from one’s parents and family-of-origin to the peer group. For some children, especially those who experience some form of self-esteem deficits, peers may begin to hold too much influence; this may result in a child’s being vulnerable to peer pressure and other potentially problematic influences including the desire to be liked even at the expense of what may be in the child’s best interest. For other children, obstacles may emerge in integrating with peers and establishing positive, healthy relationships. Psychotherapy can help the adolescent or young adult navigate their particular, idiosyncratic difficulties with peers. Treatment tends to focus on supporting the child’s capacity for closeness and intimacy while also helping the child learn how to assert appropriate boundaries.

Romantic Love: Adolescents and young adults tend to fall hard and become intensely focused on, if not obsessed with, their first romantic partner. This initial relationship is often very complex and may become overwhelming as the child is introduced to an array of factors that constitute relationships including communication, commitment, sexuality, emotional vulnerability, connection vs. independence, and balancing relationship demands with other interests and obligations. Further, the child’s self-esteem — perhaps already fragile — is further susceptible to injury if there is rejection or breakup in this early formative romantic relationship. Psychotherapy offers the child an opportunity to explore who they are through the lens of romantic love.

Self-Esteem: Emerging adulthood confronts the adolescent and young adult with challenges and disappointments. One’s self-esteem is perpetually impacted by academic and extracurricular activities, peer relationships, parent-child interactions, and the degree to which aspirations are achieved and denied. In the face of these impacts, how the child feels about him- or herself must be consistently buoyed by a range of coping strategies and tendencies. Often, these strategies only work superficially or briefly, leaving the child vulnerable to succumbing to negative thoughts about him- or herself, depression/anxiety, passivity/withdrawal, and self-sabotage. Psychotherapy promotes the child’s self-acceptance by advancing the capacity to realistically appraise his or her own value in a supportive environment.

Narcissistic Tendencies: The contemporary narcissistic culture is inherently damaging to the self-esteem of many adolescents. Typical adolescent experiences of self-doubt and insecurity are magnified as social comparison and the fear of not being accepted become more pronounced. Ironically, the narcissistic culture provides a means by which adolescents and young adults may cope with these self-esteem assaults, i.e., by adopting narcissistic tendencies. My clinical practice reflects the work of numerous developmental theorists who have identified certain narcissistic personality styles that are becoming increasingly prevalent among adolescents and young adults. These include the histrionic-exhibitionistic type (this child harbors an intense need for attention and admiration via popularity, attractiveness, or achievement), the psychopathic type (this child avoids scrutiny and vulnerability by attacking or bullying others), the masochistic type (this child resorts to self-sacrifice and victimization in order to gain approval), and the withdrawn/failure-to-launch type (this child safeguards vs. the potential for negative judgment and evaluation by under-achieving and/or withdrawing). Psychotherapy aids in the disarming of these narcissistic personality styles and assists in the development of a stable sense of identity fortified by internal self-regard rather than by the need to manipulate the external social world.

Read More:

• Parent Guidance
• Family Therapy

Visit Dr. Tobin's Office

15615 Alton Parkway
Suite 450
Irvine, CA 92618

Hours
Monday: 8am - 8pm
Tuesday: 8am - 8pm
Wednesday: 8am - 8pm
Thursday: 8am - 8pm
Friday: 8am - 8pm
Saturday: Closed
Sunday: Closed