Adolescent, Family and Parenting

There are many different ways to be an effective and nurturing parent. People’s parenting styles may vary based on culture, race, religion, socioeconomic status, geographic location as well as due to both the parents’ and the children’s personalities. Some people tend to be more authoritarian, setting rules and expecting them to be followed because you are the parent. Other parents are more permissive, wanting their children to have their needs met and to feel heard and understood. Still others try to find some middle ground. They may switch positions depending on the specifics of the situation or they may negotiate a compromise. Sometimes one parenting style works really effectively with one child but not at all with another.

Other times, a way of handling a situation may work fine for your child at one age but not at all once they get a bit older, so a shift in approach is needed. We all tend to use our own upbringing as a model for how we parent, or in some cases, for what we most want to avoid in raising our children. Often, this strategy works fine. When it does not, therapy can be a useful tool in offering you alternative strategies and techniques that might help.

When parents approach my practice for help with parenting, I will meet with you and get a history of your family including both the aspects of family life that are enjoyable and those that you wish were different. I will discuss interventions you have already tried and how they worked. When learning about your family history, we listen for strengths that each parent has so that I can honor and build upon them. In addition, I will discuss your values and beliefs about parenting and the role this plays in your home. I might also talk about your own experiences growing up and how this influences your parenting style today.

When each parent has a different approach and this is creating a problem for you, I will do my best to find ways to unite you as a team so that you can feel supported by each other in raising your children. Often this includes some work on improving communication between the parents as well as between each parent and child. I take your son or daughter’s age and stage of development into account when suggesting interventions. When your child has a problem at school, we can discuss ways to most effectively advocate for him/her there. Our goal is to teach you strategies that are effective in addressing family struggles so that your day-to-day home life can become more peaceful, fulfilling and enjoyable for everyone involved.

If other adults are also actively involved in caring for your children, we might (with your permission) include them in some sessions too in order to get their perspectives on the situation and involve them in the plan so that everyone is on the same page.