Relationship Concerns

A large component of my clinical practice is devoted toward helping patients identify, explore and resolve relationship difficulties. Interpersonal problems are actually quite common, and, if not addressed, may lead to even more significant psychiatric symptoms and stress. These, in turn, often further exacerbate the tensions of conflict-laden relationships.

Romantic relationship difficulties are a common reason why patients seek the aid of a psychotherapist.

Whether issues have developed in dating experiences, in one failed relationship after another, or deep into a long-term committed or marital relationship, my clinical approach attempts to identify recurrent patterns that obstruct a person’s capacity to establish and maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships.

Often these patterns are unconsciously motivated, i.e., they reflect early adaptive styles employed as a child, typically in one’s family-of-origin relationships, to cope with stress, conflict and difficult emotional experiences. Even in warm, supportive and loving families, every child inevitably resorts to stylistic coping strategies to adapt to circumstances in which their needs were not met. These strategies have the potential to linger, unaltered, into adulthood. Because these strategies persist and may no longer match the conditions or demands of contemporary life, they may negatively impact relationships in the romantic, professional, and/or friendship realms.

Through psychotherapy, patients begin to make often startling realizations about the extent to which these historical coping strategies remain alive and highly active, burdening promising relationship. Yet it is often even more surprising for patients to discover that even their choices of relationship partners may have been unknowingly motivated in order to enact old dilemmas and dramas again and again. The more these dilemmas are repeated, the more they remain unresolved.

An important component of my clinical work with patients who are addressing these concerns is the utilization of the therapeutic relationship as a vehicle for identifying and accessing “blind spots” that may characterize the dynamics of a patient’s interpersonal style. Throughout the course of therapy, these dynamics tend to enter into the relational field between the therapist and patient. As they inevitably do, a significant opportunity emerges to observe how they “play out in real time” and ultimately discern their origin and purpose.

Visit Dr. Tobin's Office

15615 Alton Parkway
Suite 450
Irvine, CA 92618

Hours
Monday: 8am - 8pm
Tuesday: 8am - 8pm
Wednesday: 8am - 8pm
Thursday: 8am - 8pm
Friday: 8am - 8pm
Saturday: Closed
Sunday: Closed