In her provocative article “The ‘Woke’ Men Who Still Want Housewives,” Jessica Valenti summarizes research indicating that despite the arrival of progressive views on the political landscape, many men still endorse gender stereotypes, especially when it comes to the domestic situation. Valenti argues that men often rely on arguments of “sexist beliefs about innate ability” to defend their positions. Supporting Valenti’s perspective, a piece from USA Today reports Gallup pole findings showing that women continue to take on the brunt of domestic chores, even among couples from millennial and younger generations. The contradictions and tensions of shifting gender roles in this atmosphere of egalitarianism is further complicated by additional paradoxes, including an intriguing trend among women who prefer male partners who endorse more traditional and conservative values, even in the dating world. In “The Dark Side of Women’s Requests of Progressive Men,” Mark Greene observes that men who become more “emotional” and “engaged” in their relationships in accordance with changing values may ultimately be viewed more negatively by their partners. Further, according to evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller, “Women’s instinctive mate preferences have evolved for hundreds of thousands of years for guys who are competent, strong, good providers, good protectors and happy with a sexual division of labor.” Amidst the confusion of contemporary gender roles and values, we may ask what it is that men really want for themselves, their partners, and their work/life balance? Michael S. Kimmel’s answer to this question is that men want it all; he characterizes today’s “organization man” as one who “carries a briefcase in one hand and pushes a baby carriage with the other.” And with regard to a preferred, ideal romantic partner, while many heterosexual men describe their preference to be a smart, competent woman, in reality for many men such a partner is threatening and ultimately undesirable. In the next virtual meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, August 21, 2021 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will discuss the tensions of contemporary gender roles and egalitarian perspectives, and explore how men attempt to negotiate and manage their passage through them.

*Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the next virtual meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, August 21, 2021, 10:15 to 11:30 AM, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com no later than Thursday, August 19, 2021.  The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminar. Please note that the Men’s Group Seminar is psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and does not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.