First identified by social psychologist Leon Festinger in 1957, the term cognitive dissonance emerged from the premise that a primary motivation is to seek equilibrium in mental life by resolving the discomfort of conflict. As such, when there is lack of consistency between one’s personal beliefs/values/morals and behavior, or when “two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes” exist simultaneously, “dissonance” arises in the form of psychic tension. Research suggests that the more personal, significant, and highly endorsed one’s beliefs or values are, the higher the level of dissonance that ensues if actions taken are discordant with these beliefs.

Popularized notions of cognitive dissonance often omit the second important component of this construct: once dissonance arises, people utilize a range of coping strategies and cognitive/emotional tactics to reduce the tension associated with the dissonance. These may include any number of activities including rationalization, justification, denial, emphasizing confirmatory information to support a view or decision vs. accepting disconfirming evidence, etc. For example, in her study Justify my love: Cognitive dissonance reduction among perpetrators of online and offline infidelity, Cassandra Alexopoulos assessed men who utilized Ashley Madison, a dating site oriented toward men seeking affairs. She found that justifications centering on the self-serving benefits of having an affair (e.g., it helped me feel young again or more positive about myself) as well as diminishing appraisals of the value of marriage and commitment were common pathways for reducing the dissonance of infidelity among the men in her sample; interestingly, she referred to these pathways as “dissociative tactics.”

Because cognitive dissonance inherently signifies a self-contradiction or “self-compromise,” i.e., a misalignment between one’s self-concept and current reality, indicators that dissonance may be occurring usually involve aversive feelings of discomfort, embarrassment, shame and/or guilt. Over time, these feelings may contribute to the onset of self-esteem problems, the suppression of feelings, psychiatric disorders, and interpersonal dilemmas centering on the fear of being seen/being “found out.”

In the next in-person meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, June 3, 2023 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will explore the role of cognitive dissonance in the problems of modern life. We will pay particular attention to how dissonance negatively impacts relationships. Finally, we will discuss the intriguing view that long-term committed relationships and marriage require some degree of cognitive dissonance to accommodate the usual and expectable changes occurring between partners over time.

*Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the next in-person meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, June 3, 2023, 10:15 AM to 11:30 AM, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com no later than Thursday, June 1, 2023. The seminar will be held at 15615 Alton Parkway, Suite 450, in Irvine, CA.  The fee is $30.00 and informed consent for participation must be completed prior to the seminar. Please note that the Men’s Group Seminar is psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and does not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.