In an intriguing episode of the Hidden Brain podcast series, the psychology of complaining is pursued in interviews with researchers Michael Baer and Robin Kowalski. At a basic level, complaining is a relatively common form of “venting” among colleagues and friends and usually comes with an implicit invitation to whomever is listening to commiserate, i.e., the goal of complaining is to gain support from and validation by others. Kowalski’s research distinguishes “expressive” from “instrumental” complaining. While instrumental complaining centers on finding a solution or solving the problem one is complaining about, expressive complaining is so much more enticing and prevalent because it feels good and may even be cathartic. Yet, Baer’s studies on the topic unveil the deeper complexities of complaining. In several studies on perceptions of unfairness in the workplace, including one study of London bus drivers dissatisfied with their supervisors, Baer and his colleagues found that those who tend to complain are frequently more angry, less hopeful, and less likely to forgive. Furthermore, complainers frequently distance themselves from acts of workplace “citizenship” (e.g., volunteering, going over and above one’s role, etc.) and are perceived less favorably by others, including colleagues and supervisors. Baer suggests that although complaining has an immediate short-term emotional benefit (venting), the long-term consequences appear less favorable. He endorses the value of empathizing with the one who is complaining, but he suggests a more productive stance (on the part of the listener): attempt to reframe the complaint so that a new perspective on the problem can be introduced and acted upon. In the next virtual meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, February 4, 2023 (10:15 to 11:30 AM), we will discuss this Hidden Brain episode. Taxonomies of complaints, strategies for responding to chronic complainers, and applications of this material to the workplace will be considered.

*Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the next virtual meeting of the Men’s Group Seminar on Saturday, February 4, 2023, 10:15 AM to 11:30 AM, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com no later than Thursday, February 2, 2023. The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminar. Please note that the Men’s Group Seminar is psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and does not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.