A significant component of mental health is the capacity to access one’s needs and satisfy those needs in social relationships. Needs have been the subject of considerable scientific investigation, but Maslow’s contributions are perhaps the most well-known. Today, needs are approached from a variety of different perspectives, often categorized into domains including physical/emotional safety, desire/satisfaction, and social connection; there are broad-based needs related to dreams and goals, day-to-day preferences concerning how one lives, and interpersonal longings to be viewed positively and/or loved. Unfortunately, our needs often go unmet and, at times, even unidentified. Psychologist and author Rick Hanson, Ph.D., among other experts, contends that “accessing the interior” is not easy for many adults who are simply “out of touch” with themselves. This disconnect from our own internal life is often rooted in the cultural and family systems predicaments of our childhoods. For example, as children we may have been socialized to suppress or compartmentalize our needs, view our needs shamefully or with guilt, and/or feel that getting our needs met by others is unfair or burdensome.

In the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, November 5, 2022 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will explore the psychology of needs and how identifying and advocating for our needs, especially in the context of relationships, may be hindered. The “Discovering Your Wants and Needs” episode of the Being Well podcast featuring Rick Hanson will be our central focus. Our discussion will also consider new understandings of “mindful awareness” including the role of interoception, i.e., the capacity to access internal physiological states and self-regulatory levels (beginning in early childhood) that is linked to insight into one’s feeling states and, ultimately, “a coherent relationship with the self … (consisting of) effective communication between body, mind, and feelings.” Also examined will be “Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD),” an emerging psychiatric condition that involves being subjected to repetitive “small” interpersonal traumas (often during childhood) in which one’s needs were directly or indirectly rejected. In the aftermath of these experiences, grief, guilt, shame, and distrust of others may abound and may compromise future attempts to be intimately connected to others. Finally, the delicate balance between needing and not needing others will be discussed.

*Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, November 5, 2022, 11:45 AM to 1:00 PM, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com no later than Thursday, November 3, 2022. The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminar. Please note that the Relationship Group Seminar is psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and does not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.