Terry Real is an acclaimed couples and family therapist whose books include I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, The New Rules of Marriage, and, most recently, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. A deep thinker on the dynamics of intimate relationships, Real provides a unique integration of psychological, political, and cultural factors that influence how we relate to others and to ourselves. He is especially interested in patriarchal attitudes and structures and their negative influence on relationships. His latest book focuses on relational skills that maintain a focus on “us” as opposed to knee-jerk/fight vs. flight reactions directed toward protecting oneself. He proposes a “relational mindfulness” perspective that, in the heat of the moment when partners are in conflict, avoids “you vs. me” thinking and instead emphasizes “us as a team.” For Real, cultural calls for “empowerment” often imply and promote adversarial pronouncements of “toxic individuality.” There is a difference, Real believes, between being “powerful” vs. being “connected.” Relational success involves the prioritizing of “soft loving power” that balances assertiveness with “generous” behavior; the latter ultimately moderates and supports the connectivity of the couple. In the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, October 15, 2022 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will discuss Real’s ideas on toxic individualism and relational intimacy. Interviews of Terry Real on the Therapist Uncensored and Being Well podcasts will be our focus.

*Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the next virtual meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, October 15, 2022, 11:45 AM to 1:00 PM, please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or jt@jamestobinphd.com no later than Thursday, October 13, 2022. The fee is $25.00 (payable before entering the virtual meeting) and informed consent for participation in this telehealth event must be completed prior to the seminar. Please note that the Relationship Group Seminar is psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and does not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.