Dr. James Tobin Ph.D. - Psychologist
Newsletter
2025
- Grudges and Forgiveness | Chance and Chaos | Emotional Intelligence Critiqued | The “Exciting Object” | Seminars on March 15, 2025
- David Lynch | Psychology of Prejudice | Nick Cave | Social Impressions | Emotional Avoidance | Seminars on February 15, 2025
- The First Session | Happiness U-Curve | “Toxic Positivity” | Our Digital Selves | Seminars on January 11, 2025
2024
- Counter-dependency | “Emodiversity” | Psychology of Brevity | Internal Family Systems | Seminars on December 7, 2024
- “Life Is Hard” | Relationship Regrets | Narcissism Across Time | “Lighthouse Parenting” | Divorce | Seminars on November 9, 2024
- “Toxic Positivity” | Adaptive Grief | “Invisible Mending” | Dunning-Kruger Effect | Psychology of Saying “No” | Seminars on September 14, 2024
- Confusion | Dream Analysis | Anti-Goals | Sorrow and the Disruption of Life Narratives | Seminars on August 10, 2024
- Why Love Always Hurts | “Bad” Couples Therapy | Habituation | How Couples Change | “Crisis of Masculinity” | Seminars on July 13, 2024
- “Is Your Partner ‘the One’?” | “Bad Therapy” | Misconceptions of Narcissism | Daily Life Innovation | Projective Systems in Couples | Seminars on May 25, 2024
- “Why We Die” | “Couples Therapy” Series | Overparenting | Replication | Generational Gap in the Workplace |April 20, 2024
- “Why We Remember” | Creative “Flow” | Midlife Crisis | Attunement | Seeking Discomfort | Seminars on March 23, 2024
- “Deceptive Affection” | Post-traumatic Growth | Impact of AI | Negotiation vs. Acceptance | Seminars on February 17, 2024
- Dopamine-Fasting | The “Boomerang Effect” | Greek Philosophy and Modern Dilemmas | The “Edge of Visibility” | Seminars on January 20, 2024
2023
- Covert Narcissism | Anxiety | “Toxic Growth” | The Conundrum | Relational Knowledge
Robert Greene | Comm Styles -
Friendship | Men’s Relational Competence | “Black Mirror” | “Adulting”
- The Psychology of Control | Cognitive Dissonance | Therapy and Asian Americans | Daniel Siegel
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Passive Aggression | Loss of Motivation | “Trauma Bonding” | Relationships and the Pandemic
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The Happiness Curve | Distinguishing Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships | The Urge To Do Wrong
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“Ghosts from the Past” | “Experiencing” vs. “Remembering” | Dysfunctional Group Dynamics
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Financial Infidelity | Psychology of Complaining | Love, Compatibility, and Partner Selection
2022
- “Talking to Strangers” | The Toxic Pursuit of the “Exciting Object”
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Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma | Reeves’ “Of Boys and Men” | The Adolescent Brain
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The New Science of Placebo | Needs | Complex PTSD | Domestic Violence
- Terry Real’s “Toxic Individualism” | The Science of Self-Awareness | People-Pleasing | The “Genocide of Authenticity”
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Emotional Infidelity | “Strangers to Ourselves” | The Narcissist-Empath Bond
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Oliver Burkeman on Time | Micromanipulation | Jordan Peterson Questions the Pursuit of Happiness
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Rethinking Boredom | “Almost Relationships” | “People-Pleasing”
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Emotional Intelligence | Andrew Huberman on Neural Plasticity | Defense Mechanisms
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Online Dating | On Becoming “Indistractable” | “Liespotting”
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“The Happiness Trap” | “Love Demystified” | The Pro’s and Con’s of Psychotherapy
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Paul Dolan on Success Narratives | “Emotional Immaturity” Among Couples | Silence in the Workplace
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Creative Confidence | Self-Expansion | Love During COVID | The Death of Thich Nhat Hanh
2021
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The Cultural Norm of Narcissism | Persuasion | Parenting Your Partner
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Control in Relationships | Negative Self-Talk | On “Surviving Anxiety”
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“Rethinking Narcissism” | Subjective Neuroplasticity | Learning from Cults
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The Neuroscience of Reactivity | “The All-or-Nothing Marriage”
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A Paintball Experiment | Self-Love Deficit Disorder | Gender Equality: Private vs. Political
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The Fallacy of Free Will | Why We Are Misunderstood | A Critique of the Love Languages
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Nora McInerny | Change and Transformation | Relational Awareness
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Julie Lythcott-Haims | Loving Too Much | Do Men and Women Speak Different Languages?
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“Why Nobody Feels Rich” | Taking Things Too Personally | The Peak-End Rule
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Andrew Solomon on Adversity | “Scar Tissue” of Failed Love | Male Loneliness
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“Downstream Effort” | Polarization | Childhood Re-Enacted in the Workplace
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Types of Narcissism | Dan Ariely on Work and Motivation | Parenting Resources
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Ethical Practice and Informed Consent
2020
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Dreaming During the Pandemic | “Backburnering” | The Work of Robert Waldinger, M.D.
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The Pew Research Center Study on Dating and Relationships | Irritable Male Syndrome
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The Psychology of Regret | Gaslighting | Couples in the Time of Pandemic
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Parenting During Pandemic | Imposter Syndrome | Millennials and Marriage
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Why Therapists Should Talk Politics” | Living on Autopilot | Getting Over Previous Relationships
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Practice Announcements | How Men Express Love | The 14 Factors of Relationship Success
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Listening | Narcissistic Parenting | Andrew Solomon’s Tribute
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Coping and Stress Management | Love, Mental Health and Gender Differences re: COVID-19
- Love During Pandemic | Two Primary Styles of Adaptation
- Coping with the COVID-19 Pandemic
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Falling for the Wrong Person | Social Psychologist Daniel Gilbert
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The British Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips (Part II) | Love Addiction and Avoidance
2019
- Recent Blog Articles | Adam Phillips on “Being Too Much” and Boredom
- Control and Surrender | Mistakes
- Self-Deception | Milestones
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Intuition | Underachievers vs. Overachievers | College Admissions Scandal
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The Two Things You Must Absolutely Avoid in Relationships | Vs. Getting What You Want
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The “Blah” Relationship | The Male Mind/Brain: Fact or Fiction?
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What “Dirty John” Teaches Us About the Neurobiology of Attraction | Living in a Complex World
- Why Your Fate is Neurobiologically Sealed | You May Not Like What You Mean to Others
- The “Good Enough” Father | “Correction” in Partner Choice
- Over-Parenting, Non-Attachment, and Meritocracy | Transference & Corrective Emotional Experience
- Codependence and the “Private” | The Mind Splits Vertically
2018
- The New Codependency | Beyond the “Nice Guy Syndrome”
- Insecurity in Relationships | Depleted Friendships Among Men
- Controlling the One You Love | Emasculation
- Loving Defensively | Male Shame
- “Relinquishment” in Couples | Failure and Humility
- New Podcast Site | “Mystification” in Couples and the Work of Jordan Peterson
- Webinar: The 5 Phases of a Relationship with a Narcissist
- Gaslighting in the Workplace | Men in Modern Love
- Narcissism and Narcissistic Expressions | The Ego Ideal
- The New Parenting Webinar Series
- Narcissistic Experience | The Target on Your Back
- Locus poenitentiae | The Unattractive in Men
- Reenactment | Diamond’s “Masculinity Unraveled”
- Lover As Enemy | Unresolved Oedipal Dilemmas
- The Concept of the “Rudder” | Neurobiological Love
- The Viability of Relationships | Losing Yourself In Love
- Introjection, Projection, and Projective Identification
- Responding to Manipulation and Toxicity | Mothers and Sons
- Anatomy of Manipulation | Self-Awareness
- The Persistence of Family-of-Origin Roles and Dynamics | The Argument Against “Letting It Go”
- Invisible Distress and Grief | The Dynamics of Shame and Guilt
- Grief and Loss Among Men | Attachment Styles
- Unpacking Mindfulness
2017
- Parenting Workshop: The Four Levels of Relationship Engagement
- Parasitic Love | Unconscious Compliance in Romantic Love
- The Fear-Shame Dynamic | Rethinking No Strings Attached
- Terrence Real | Emplotment Pathways
- Innovation | The “Evanescent Self”
- The Problem with Being Nice: Covert Contracts in Romantic Love
- A New Psychotherapy Process Group
- Inflexion Points | What Men Want from Women
- The Seduction of Butterflies | “Drive”
- Speaking to Your Lover’s Unconscious | The Shadow
- Finding the Wrong One | Mindfulness
- The Neuropsychology of Romantic Love | Male Co-dependency
- Parenting Webinar Series | “Prepare to Change”
- Identity in Motion: The Case of Laura
- Bradshaw’s “Wounded Inner Child” | “Flourishing”
- Practice Announcements
- “Persona” in Romantic Relationships | Tendencies of Success
- The “Erotic Hinge”
- Understanding Hope | Unpacking Your “Baggage”
- Relational Capacities in Development | The Top Men’s Issues
- The “Herbivore Man” | The Commitment Phase in Relationships
2016
- Romantic “Dislocations” | Men After Divorce | Disenchantment
- Trends in Romantic Love and Gender Roles
- Talks on Disenchantment and the Erotic Hinge
- The Erotic Hinge | Mindfulness
- Covert Narcissism | Midlife Crisis | Buddhism’s Approach to Romantic Love
- Killing Men with Kindness | Mindsight | Successful Parents
- The Cycle of Sexual Addiction
- Women Who “Maternalize” | Chivalry | Mentalization
- Defending the Caveman | When Lover Becomes Mother | Parenting Group
- The “Drunk Monkey” | Against Being Nice
- Perspectives on the Human Condition
- Robert Weiss on Sexual Addiction
- Karma and Trauma: Intersections of Psychoanalysis and Buddhist Psychology
- Is It the “End of Men”?
- How to Tell If You’re Romantically Involved with a Narcissist
- Babble.com
- Pruning of the Adolescent Brain | New Book on Parenting Adolescent Girls
- Creating Tension | The Psychologies of Success and Failure
- Newsletter: June 29, 2016
- Male Hormonal Cycle | Successful Couples
- Male “Woundedness” and the “Laws of Attraction”
- Selection of a Life Partner and the “LATE” Man
- Newsletter: May 5, 2016
- Selection of a Life Partner and the “LATE” Man
- Newsletter: May 5, 2016
- Emotional IQ | Positive Illusions in Romantic Love
- Portals and Projection
- John Gottman and Relational Dialysis
- Overcoming Breakup (Part II) and Emotional Connection
- Residue of Failed Relationships and “A New Psychology of Men”
- Interdependence and Michael Diamond on Men at Mid-Life
- Catalogue of Work | Love in Midlife | Personality
- For Parents on Parenting
2015
- Repetition Compulsion | Codependence
- Sexual Barriers to Intimacy | Co-dependence
- Sexual Anorexia | The Harvard Grant Study
- Enactment and Three Selves
- The Child’s Psychological Use of the Parent
- Self-Alienation and Male Charisma (Part II)
- The Shadow | Male Charisma
- Update: Adolescence, Parenting, and Child Development
- Sexual Withholding & “6 Truths”
- Male Shame
- Social Media Announcement
- Jack Kornfield | The Relationship Grid
- Regret and Mindfulness
- Shame | Love Quotient | Coding System for Parents
- Group Therapy of Sex Offenders
- Your Love Quotient | The Psychology of Men
- Attachment Styles and Schemas
- Schemas & Attachment Styles
- Practice Update
- Flow | 8 Dysfunctional Relationship Configurations
- Regret | Regression in Love | Assimilation
- Recognizing Personality Disturbance | The False Self
- Newsletter
- Tannen on Communication | Attribution Tendencies
2014
- The Signal
- Practice Update November 8, 2014
- Overcoming Toxicity | Egoistic Reactivity
- Parasitic Illusion and Misperception
- Parasitic Love and Dialytic Presence
- Love and Parasites
- Oedipus and Electra
- Partner Choice | Men’s Fear of Women | Charismatic Parents | Narcissism
- Self-Disclosure | Flipping Your Lid
- “Why Teenagers Act Crazy” NY Times Article
- Update: Men’s Group, Relationship Group, Parenting Group, and Mindfulness
- Projection and the Isolated Male
- Esther Perel on Desire in Long-Term Relationships & Sam Polk
- “Sex at Dawn” and Loving Consciously
- Tests for Men and Harville Hendrix
- Self-Esteem and “Men on Strike”
- Co-Dependence and Emotional Intelligence
- Dr. Tobin’s Relationship Series; Upcoming Talk on Therapeutic Persona
- Induction Patterns & the Oedipus Complex (Part II)
- Negative Relationship Patterns and Oedipus Revisited
- Interpersonal Transformation (Part II): Attachment vs. Relatedness
- Interpersonal Transformation: Part I
- Group Announcements: Repeating the Trauma