Dr. James Tobin Ph.D. - Psychologist
Articles
WELCOME TO DR. TOBIN’S ARTICLES
Dr. Tobin regularly publishes blog articles and posts information and writings by other authors on various issues including child development and adolescence, parenting, romantic love, men and masculinity, the psychotherapy process, the training and supervision of psychologists, sexual compulsivity and addiction, and organizational culture and change. If there is a topic you would like Dr. Tobin to feature, please email him directly at jt@jamestobinphd.com.
The Shared Psychological Origin of Narcissistic and Codependent Relational Styles
Listen to the entire article: In adult romantic love, there is an unconscious precedent to utilize relational tendencies and strategies of attachment that were initiated in childhood. Another way of saying this is that we don’t just love in a straightforward...
The “Maternalizing Dynamic” in Romantic Relationships
Listen to the entire article: I often work with women in my practice who characterize a very distinct shift in their romantic relationships. This shift occurs rather gradually and insidiously but when its underlying dynamics are fully operative, the...
“Attachment Love” vs. “Erotic Love”
Listen to the entire article: In my work with patients who struggle in their romantic relationships, a common theme that emerges involves a relationship tendency I like to characterize as “attachment love” — which is distinct from the more...
Identity in Motion: What Tectonic Plates Can Teach Us about the Human Condition
A Session with Laura It is an early Friday morning. Not yet the end of winter, the marine layer hovers above the Pacific Ocean, concealing the sun. Though I am wearing a light sweater, I find myself still a bit chilled as I listen to Laura*, a...
The Programming of Our Relational Lives
Why do we do what we do in our relationships, often to our own detriment, even when we know what we’re doing is self-sabotaging? The answer is that we are literally “programmed” to act in ways that are, in essence, automatic — and...
The Loss of Sexual Passion in Couples
The maternal instinct is so strong that it is inevitable that a woman will treat her male lover from this instinct. For most women, this is not really a problem at all and, in fact, even bolsters their sense of intimacy and connection with their partners. In...
What Is “Interdependence?”
At their core, most romantic relationship problems involve conflictual dynamics having to do with the fear of fusion (i.e., anxiety concerning becoming “one”/fearing dependency and union) vs. the fear of independence (i.e., anxiety that involving remaining separate...
The Silent Epidemic of “Self-Estrangement” Among Today’s Adolescents and Young Adults
As a volunteer alumnus interviewer, I notice it when speaking with high school seniors who are applying for admission to my alma mater. I experience it in everyday life in my community. And I observe it most notably in my work as a clinical psychologist in...
What Is Your Attachment Style
Having trouble figuring out what’s wrong in your relationships? Learn what your attachment style is and what role it plays in your...